the episodes play

the episodes play without pause as a familiar theme song plays increasing with intensity.

a single panic attack enters the room and disappears inside my skin.

finally it is not alone.

we dance until sweat convinces feet to swim and with arms flailing the weight of holding everything in sits on my chest until it stops breathing.

it walks out and i crawl to the door and turn the lock.

on the other side is pain and joy always dressed like twins.